


Dance With Me

by Novatrocity



Series: Destiel Ficlets [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 15x09, Angst, Castiel Bears the Mark of Cain (Supernatural), Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mark of Cain (Supernatural), Sad Ending, Season/Series 15, this is just a sad fic, this is my first fic on AO3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:14:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22931593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Novatrocity/pseuds/Novatrocity
Summary: Even after God is defeated, Dean and Cas find themselves facing another problem.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Destiel Ficlets [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648150
Comments: 10
Kudos: 58





	Dance With Me

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short Destiel coda for 15x09 for that alternate future where Cas took on the Mark of Cain. This is also my first time posting on AO3 so apologies if I do something wrong. Other than that, please enjoy!

It's over.

They'd defeated God himself. They were free at last— free to be whoever they wanted to be— free to do whatever.

Sam seems content, and so does Cas. And for a split second, everything felt fine.

But Dean knew better than to believe everything was alright.

Chuck was gone, but there was now another problem that needed dealing with— the Mark.

Dean should've stopped him. He knew he should have. But deep down, he felt a disgusting amount of relief at the thought that he would not have to bear the Mark of Cain again.

Dean's sitting in the kitchen with a glass of whiskey in hand when Cas walks in.

He looks tired, but when his eyes land on Dean, they soften.

"Are you doing okay?" Cas asks. 

Dean almost wants to laugh, but all he manages is a weak grimace. He knows firsthand what the Mark does to you— how it twists you into someone you aren't. Cas shouldn't have been worried about Dean. He should have been worried about himself.  
Cas must notice Dean's inner turmoil because he grabs the chair next to Dean and sits down.

"I think I should be the one asking you that, buddy," Dean says.

Cas looks at Dean with so much affection that it hurts. Dean doesn’t deserve those looks.

“Please don’t blame yourself for this, Dean. I chose to bear the Mark and I would do it again if it meant you never had to suffer its effects again,” Cas says this with so much certainty that it scares Dean. 

This angel was willing to sacrifice so much for him. Falling from heaven, killing his own brethren, rebelling against the one thing he was made to serve and all for what? For one human?

It makes Dean realize how stupid he was for taking Cas for granted all those years.

“Cas, I’m scared.”

Dean feels vulnerable expressing his feelings so freely with Cas, but after everything that’s happened in purgatory, he realizes that it's time to suck it up and stop running away from his emotions. He may not get any more moments like this with Cas in the future. 

“I know,” Cas says. He doesn’t reassure Dean.

Deep down Dean was hoping the Mark wouldn't affect Cas as it did for himself. He hoped desperately that maybe Cas' grace would help him.

He knew better than to believe that.

The thought of Cas turning into a blood-thirsty killer makes his stomach churn. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. They'd gotten rid of Chuck, they should've gotten their happy ending, they shouldn't be dealing with more problems, they shouldn't-

"Dean," Cas says softly. His eyes convey an infinite amount of sadness.

He intertwines his fingers with Dean's as if to let him know he's still there— that he won't leave.

"We'll look for something, Cas," he says. "Maybe we could find a cure this time."

Cas looks unconvinced, and frankly, Dean feels pretty unconvinced too.

They’d tried so hard to find a solution before— back when Dean was the bearer of the Mark. Chances are if they tried looking again, the results would be the same.

Cas' grip tightens around his hand.

"Dean, if I start turning, promise me you'll stop me. Do whatever it takes to stop me."

Dean's heart starts to clench in pain. He avoids looking into Cas' eyes.

"Please," Cas almost whispers. "Don't let me become a monster."

Dean drinks the rest of his whiskey and chances a glance at Cas. He seems eerily calm— like he's already accepted what’s to come.

But Dean would do whatever it takes to keep Cas with him. He’ll try his damn hardest to fix Cas before giving up. At the moment, though, he can only reassure.

"Ok," Dean reluctantly relents. "I promise."

Cas offers him a small smile, but Dean doesn't feel any better.

"Just-" Dean begins. "Just...Stay with me...For a little while longer."

Blue eyes meet his, and Cas leans in closer.

"Of course, Dean."

~~~~~~

It's not okay.

Dean desperately clung to the hope that the Mark wouldn't affect Cas— wouldn't take him. But it was clearly hopeless.

He'd spent months looking for a possible cure. Nothing. 

Little by little, Dean could see Cas' sanity slip through the cracks.

He wanted to brush it off at first—play it off as just Cas getting restless from always being cooped up in the bunker.

But Cas would only get worse.

It was just small incidents in the beginning— Cas impulsively smiting a vamp they were interrogating— Cas recklessly running into a werewolf nest.

Dean hoped it was just simple frustration and impatience after the monsters started increasing in numbers.

It wasn't. Dean knew and so did Cas.

It was the last straw when Cas nearly killed a group of high school girls, claiming that they were in the way of solving the case.

When they returned to the bunker, Cas took Dean aside.

"It's changing me," he says. Even now, those blue eyes don't look like they belong to Cas. They look remorseful, but they hold a murderous intent.

"Cas-"

"You have to stop me."

Dean didn't want it to have to come to this. It was all he really had left— clinging to a fraying string of false hope to keep him going.

"You have to stop me,” Cas pauses “or I'll end up killing you."

Cas says it with so much conviction— so much confidence.

Dean believes him.

"I don't wanna lose you, Cas. Please," Dean whispers. 

The space between them lessens, as Cas grabs Dean's hand.

"You know what you have to do."

Dean knows. He's known what he's had to do from the very moment Cas took on the Mark. He knows, but he doesn't want to acknowledge it. He doesn't want to accept that he's losing a bit of Cas every day. They can't lose this battle.

"You can't go dark side on me, Cas. Not yet."

Dean drops his head to lean on Cas' chest. He can hear the faint heartbeats of the angel. It grounds him. It makes him remember that they're real— that Cas is still here with him— that he hadn't flown away with his invisible wings just yet.

"Just...Please….Stay with me, for a little while longer," Dean pleads.

Cas, ever loyal, stays with him.

"Of course, Dean."

Dean knows what he has to do. He has to lock Cas away. He has to build a ma'lak box.

\-------

On rare days, Cas is able to fight the mark and stay himself but even those days are dwindling. Dean doesn't know how much longer he can stall.

He'd finished building the ma'lak box some time ago. But Dean was selfish. He didn't want Cas to leave just yet. He didn't want Cas to leave at all. But Cas grows more restless, more angry, more dangerous. 

Dean doesn't know how much time he has left with him. Not much left, that's for sure. He's so frustrated that he sometimes takes it out on Sam. They fight about the Mark. About how there is no cure, about how this is going to end. But Dean is tired, and the fight leaves him as quickly as it had arrived.

The worst almost happens. Cas nearly kills Sam during a case in Illinois. They were investigating a series of bizarre murders. It started off normal. Well, as normal as things could get in their lives. But one disagreement from Sam sends Cas flying off the edge in a blind rage. It happens so quickly in front of Dean that he doesn't react fast enough. Cas has got Sam pinned beneath him in a stranglehold. 

Dean pleads for him to stop, yells for Cas to snap out of it. But Cas doesn't listen. And Dean believes he would've gone through with it, had Dean not reached out to touch Cas' shoulder.

In a swift movement, they're face to face. Cas' eyes suddenly soften, but only for a brief second before they widen in terror. He looks down at Sam and frantically backs away from the brothers.

"I'm sorry," he simply says in a broken voice before disappearing.

They finish the case without him.

\--------

Once Dean patches Sam up, he goes to his room to turn in for the night. They don’t talk about what happened.

He doesn't feel like sleeping. Hell, he hasn't been sleeping much at all lately.

Instead, Dean sits on his bed and prays. Prays to Cas.

"Cas, I don't know how much longer I've got with you, man, but please...please come back. Come back home. I need to know you're alright. I need to know that you're still you."

A pregnant silence fills the room, and Dean almost believes that Cas won't show up until he hears the familiar beat of wings.

Cas stands in front of him. But he doesn't look okay. 

The angel in front of him looks so lost, so broken. 

"Dean," Cas speaks quietly. 

Dean stands up and reaches forward to pull him into a tight embrace. Cas barely hugs back.

"I can't stop it anymore," Cas relents.

His once vibrant blue eyes now reveal a lack of motivation. They show that the man behind those eyes had given up. They both know they aren't winning this battle.

"Do it now, Dean. While I'm still myself."

Dean feels tears start to trail down his cheek. He clings to Cas tightly, but Cas pulls away.

"You have to, Dean. Lock me away. Send me to the ocean."

Dean wants to scream at him, to lash out and blame Cas for not trying hard enough to fight the Mark, but it's hopeless. He knows it is. But that doesn't stop him from feeling guilty. It should be him locked in the ma'lak box, it should be him dealing with the consequences. Not Cas, definitely not Cas.

Dean doesn't say anything. Instead, he stands up and turns on the radio.

They let the hum of the music fill the silence of the room. Dean closes the space between them. Cas lets him.

"Dance with me," Dean says. 

Cas stares at him but must see the sadness in Dean's eyes because he agrees without a fuss.

They intertwine their fingers and hold each other like it's the last night on Earth. They don't really dance. They just sway around, really. But for a moment, Dean can pretend that this was the happy ending they deserved. No more monsters, no more fighting, no more Mark. But those feelings quickly disappear when he feels the presence of the ma'lak box.

Realistically, it's rooms away from them. But Dean can feel it's weight burning holes through the walls and floors to remind him that it's never over. It really hits Dean that this is it. End of the line for him and Cas. So he says the words he's been meaning to say for so long now.

"I love you."

It's so quiet that Dean thinks Cas might not have heard him. But he does. He always does.

Cas looks right into Dean's eyes and cups his face. He's smiling sadly.

"I wish we could've done this under different circumstances," Cas murmurs.

"Me too."

All of a sudden, they're kissing. It's soft and gentle and full of unimaginable sorrow. Cas embraces Dean like he's the most important thing in the world. 

And in Cas' eyes, he is.

"I love you, too."

Dean lets out a wet laugh. This can't be happening.

"You stupid son of a bitch," Dean says, but there's no venom in it— just hopelessness.

"I know," Cas whispers back.

"You never think about yourself," Dean stresses. He can feel himself shaking now. He can't stop the tears anymore.

Cas runs his hands down Dean's back in a display of comfort. It doesn't help.

They continue to rock back and forth to the music. None of them wanting to admit what happens next.

"Stay with me, for a little while longer," Dean chokes up.

Cas' grip on him tightens.

"Of course, Dean."

The radio drowns out the silence as a new song starts to play. They lament together.

I.. Can't….Help….Falling In Love...With...You….

They lose the battle.


End file.
